Most couples don’t stop having sex because they stop loving each other. They stop having sex because they stop feeling each other.
The routine becomes the rhythm: Wake up. Work. Check the bills. Cook dinner. Maybe a Netflix show. Then pass out in bed to do it all over again.
Even when they get frisky, it’s predictable:
Just rubbing genitals until you finish.
Same bed. Same moves. Same positions.
No depth. No fire. No emotional intoxication.
It’s sex as a mechanism, not an experience. and over time, this becomes the new normal.
The relationship runs on autopilot. It’s not just the sex that dies—it’s the emotional connection, the intimacy, the energy that once made it feel alive.
The Slow Death Most Couples Never See Coming
At first, it’s harmless. “We’re just busy” “We still love each other” “We’ll get back to it eventually” But you don’t.
Love becomes routine. Sex becomes mechanical. And emotional distance creeps in.
Then one day, someone at the gym or at work lights you up (or her as we talked about it in The Work Husband Effect) You find yourself laughing a little more with them. Dressing a little nicer and feeling seenagain.
You didn’t cheat. But a part of you wanted to. A part of you already did—emotionally.
Then the comparisons begin:
“Why isn’t my wife like this?” “Why don’t we laugh like this anymore?” “Why does this feel exciting while my relationship feels like a task?”
The tension builds. More nagging. More distance. More disrespect. More frustration. And yes—more sexual rejection.
The Three Roads Most Men Take
This is where most men choose a path—consciously or not.
Stay in the dead relationship for the sake of the kids. Pretend in public. Feel like strangers at home.
Cheat, craving aliveness again—but knowing you’re destroying trust.
Divorce, tear your family apart, lose half your wealth, and repeat the same pattern.
But there’s a fourth path. And only 1% of couples take it.
The 1% Make It Work
And they don’t just “make it work” by tolerating each other. They rebuild it. They shift the energy. They take radical responsibility for the disconnection.
They choose to become lovers again.
And for a man, that starts with a decision.
Not to “try harder.” Not to “go back to how it used to be.” But to become someone new: The Strong Spine Lover
What Does That Mean?
It means you stop being the passive, distracted man who waits for intimacy to return.
And you start being the grounded, intentional leader who brings polarity, presence, and passion back into your relationship.
It’s not about flowers or chocolates.
It’s about setting the emotional and sexual tone every single day.
Because love is not enough. You can love her deeply—and still lose her if she doesn’t feel desired, seen, and safe in your presence.
So Where Do You Start?
You lead.
Next time you catch yourself in roommate mode—talking logistics, acting neutral—snap out of it.
Say to yourself: “I’m done being a roommate. I’ll act as a lover now.”
Then go to her and a lover!
Let’s say she’s folding laundry. 1. You walk up from behind. 2. Touch her lower back. 3. Pull her gently into you. 4. Gaze deeply into her in the eyes and say: “You look so beautiful right now. I’m lucky to have you.”
She’ll giggle like an 18-year-old. You’ll feel her soften.
Later that day: Pull her close again. Put her hair behind her ears. Whisper into her ears: “You know when you were changing last night…I saw your legs. And all the tension in me just melted.”
Then stream kisses all over her neck, her shoulders, her chest. No rush. No agenda. Just pure presence for 10 minutes. You both want that, not only horny you or emotional her. So why hold back? Why make both of you suffer in silence? You can fix it all tonight
The feminine is pure, boundless energy. It is life itself. And to the masculine, this energy is intoxicating, rejuvenating, and deeply nourishing.
She wants to feel you are free and fully present with her, willing to embrace her in your deepest truth, and not distracted by tasks or duties.
David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
Let your touch remind her what it feels like to be claimed, not just coexisting.
Now you’re speaking Womenese. Now you’re acting like a lover. Now she’ll start looking sexy around the house… fishing for more moments like this.
Seriously—try this tonight. I’ve had men DM me after trying this once— and say their woman hasn’t looked at them like that in months. Then you repeat this exact 10 min presence thru out the day everyday, this is your Lover Shift
What’s the Lover Shift?
When you clock in, you don’t half‑ass it. No matter how tired, stressed, or distracted you are, you show up. You don’t check out mid‑shift, scroll your phone, or mentally wander off—you’re locked in, because that’s what’s expected of you.
Your woman needs the same from you. Not all the time. Not all day. But if you want her to feel deeply connected, desired, and secure in your presence, you must learn to clock in for her too— even if it’s just for an hour or two.
When you step into the Lover Shift, you bring the same level of focus, presence, and commitment to your relationship that you bring to your work:
No distractions
No autopilot responses
No passive energy
Just you—fully engaged, fully present, fully there. This is the moment you stop being roommates and overly logical, and start embodying the lover who naturally creates attraction. And when you learn to make that shift—whether for an hour, two hours, or even just a few moments a day—everything changes.
Here’s how to start implementing the Lover Shift today:
Your 7-Day Lover Shift Challenge
An emotionally and sexually satisfied wife is a happy life.
This is my daily intimate routine to keep my girl emotionally and sexually satisfied:
Daily Intimate Routine
✔ 5 minutes of cuddling first thing in the morning
✔ Kiss her and say “I love you” every time you leave or enter the house
✔ Midday text to check in (flirty, loving, or playful)
✔ Quick midday call
✔ 10–15 non-sexual touches throughout the day
✔ One deep hug per day
✔ Go to the gym together once per week
✔ One of you prepares the other’s toothbrush each night
✔ Daily compliments: 3 about her appearance + 2 deep appreciations
✔ Buy her something small every other day (a flower, candy, coffee)
✔ Goodnight kiss before bed
✔ Daily act of service (making tea, cooking dinner, etc.)
✔ Sleep naked together
That’s it, each action of those would take you only a couple of minutes, but it means the world to her.
P.S. Before we end it here. Shoot me a reply with the problem you want me to talk about next, I’ll get back to you with a solution to it!
Stay awake and loving,
Mohammed