Most men think women trust them because they say the right things or “communicate more.”
My father believed that too — until he lost my mother’s trust one quiet night at the dinner table.
I still remember the sound of her fork tapping the plate while he talked. Quiet. Cold. She’d nod at his words — but her eyes stayed distant. Her shoulders stayed tight.
He’d come home from work, drop his bag, force a smile, and say all the “good guy” words:
“Hey babe, how was your day?”
She’d answer “Fine.” But the air stayed frozen.
So he’d talk more. “Are you okay?” More words. She drifted colder. The distance grew. He looked helpless — “I didn’t even do anything wrong.” he said.
The silence was worse than any fight. Cold smiles turned into quiet nights. Quiet nights turned into sharp, stupid fights — dirty dishes, his tone, the way he didn’t notice something she never said out loud.
No matter what he said, they kept drifting. His words couldn’t reach her.
Back then, I didn’t understand what I was watching. Years later I learned the truth:
It wasn’t his words she didn’t trust.
It was his spine.
Her Body Listens Before Her Ears Do
Most men think when a woman snaps about the dishes, she’s just nagging.
They think when she’s moody or picking fights, she’s being dramatic.
But the truth is simpler:
She’s not fighting about the dishes — she’s reacting to you.
A woman’s body listens before her ears do. She picks up signals you don’t even know you’re giving off — the way your shoulders slump, how your voice sounds, if you’re really present or checked out.
Her nervous system scans you like a primal lie detector — when she senses you’re not fully there, her body flips from feeling safe to feeling alone.
When that happens, it doesn’t come out as calm words — it comes out as tests, moods, sharp comments.
She doesn’t sit you down and say: “I don’t feel led, I don’t feel safe, I don’t feel seen.”
Instead, her body says it for her — in the hidden language every man needs to learn to read.
What her body’s really telling you is:
“You’re not leading me.”
“You don’t see what I need.”
“You’re drifting — so I feel alone.”
“You’re not strong enough to hold me.”
“You’re too passive — I can’t trust you.”
“You’d rather keep the peace than claim me.”
“You want my body, but you don’t know how to make me feel like a woman.”
When you don’t get it — when you fight back, brush it off, or apologize without backbone — her body hears: “I’m still alone.”
So the tests keep coming.
That’s the Polyvagal truth: her primal alarm can’t be switched off by your words — only by your presence.
Most men think men and women are the same. But they’re not. They’re designed to complement each other.
Men bring order, edge, protection.
Women bring nurture, emotion, life.
And because women carry the burden of their offsprings— they’re wired with an alarm system that never sleeps.
For thousands of years, her greatest risk wasn’t that her man might say the wrong thing — but that he’d collapse when she needed him strong.
When you collapse, her body reads one thing: “I’m alone.”
When she feels alone, her whole system flips to fight, flee — or freeze.
She doesn’t choose this. Her nervous system does — every breath you take.
Primal Instinct
In the animal kingdom:
A mother deer freezes at the slightest twig snap — her whole body on guard to sense a predator before her fawn ever sees it.
A mother bird leaves the nest if the forest goes silent — silence means danger is close, so she moves her babies before the threat arrives.
A lioness shifts her den the moment she smells another predator’s scent — she doesn’t wait for the fight, she moves to safety first.
Human women are wired the same way.
She might smile and nod — but her body scans your eyes, shoulders, breath. It sniffs out weakness long before her mind finds the words.
That’s why no fancy dinner or flowers fix it. That’s why saying “I love you” with sagging shoulders doesn’t calm her.
Her deepest fear? Not betrayal — but feeling alone next to a man who’s physically there but energetically gone.
Womenese: Her Hidden Language
When her body senses weakness, it doesn’t shout “I don’t feel safe!” in plain English.
It speaks in code — cold shoulders. Snappy comments. Fights about nothing. Silence at dinner.
Why the code?
Because she’s not always conscious of what she needs. Her mind can’t always translate what her body knows. So her body speaks for her — through moods, tension, tests. Her ancient alarm system asks:
“Can you hold me like a man? Or do I have to hold myself?”
Men call it drama.
It’s not drama — it’s biology in code.
Polyvagal: Her Primal Lie Detector
Neuroscientist Stephen Porges showed that the nervous system isn’t just fight-or-flight — it’s three pathways that constantly scan for safe or threat.
Her body runs this scan every second — whether she wants to or not.
She has three states:
Ventral Vagal — Safe & Social:
When your breath is deep, voice warm, posture strong, her body reads Safe. She softens. Craving lives here.Sympathetic — Fight or Flight:
Shallow breath, restless eyes, edgy tone — her system fires up to test you. She pokes your spine to see if you’ll stand or fold.Dorsal Vagal — Freeze & Shutdown:
If she feels unsafe too long, her system shuts down. She goes numb, polite, distant. Roommate mode. Words won’t revive her — only your calm, steady spine will.
Do This Tonight
Next time she snaps about dirty dishes — watch yourself.
A weak-spined man does one of three things:
Lashes out: “It’s just a plate, stop nagging!” — she feels more alone.
Dismisses it: “Whatever, I’ll do it later.” — she feels unseen.
Apologizes weakly: “Sorry, I’ll do it now, don’t be mad.” — she feels she must hold herself.
All three prove her body right: no spine to lean on.
A strong-spined man does this instead:
He knows it’s not about the dishes — it’s Womenese.
Her body saying: “I don’t feel safe, emotionally connected, or desired.”
So he stands tall. Drops his shoulders. Looks her in the eyes. Breath steady.
Voice calm: “It’s okay, baby. Let’s do it together.”
He steps beside her, sleeves up, soap running. He uses the moment — not just to fix the mess, but to hold her mood. He leans close and says: “I see how much you do. I appreciate you more than you know.”
She softens. Her guard drops. A tiny smile flickers. The tension drains — not because the plate is clean, but because she feels seen and safe.
When her body trusts your spine, the fight ends before it starts.
When she feels safe, connected, and desired — she doesn’t nag about dishes. She won’t care about the plate. She’ll crave the man who makes her feel soft in her heart and safe in her body.
You’ll hear the clink of her cup in the kitchen. You’ll feel her brush past you softer than before. That’s her body saying: “I trust you again.”
Spine first. Words second.
Stay rooted,
Mohammed Radwan
When You’re Ready, Here’s How I Can Help:
1. The Strong Spine Lover course
My 5000 word full guide on polarity, leadership, and intimacy with my personal initmate relationships framework to avoid a sexless relationship. Get it here.
2. Mentorship
If you’re ready to go deeper and work with me personally 1:1 then fill the application form and book a free call to see if we’re a good fit. Apply here (I’ve only 2 spots at the moment)